I’m Rick Sieman, and Sieman says, Don’t Ask!
Go ahead, but if your question is stupid, you’ve been warned…
If you choose to email a question to this forum, then you must conduct yourself accordingly. Therefore, the following rules are in order:
1. Do not write your email to me IN CAPS. If you do so, I will print out your question and do terrible things to it.
2. Do not request a personal e-mail response. Since I get thousands of questions each month, trying to answer them all would cut deeply into my leisure time, which I value more than your current state of confusion.
3. Try to spell at least in a semi-correct fashion. If you choose to mangle the English language, expect no mercy from this quarter. You might be mocked severely.
4. Do not ask for me to send you copies of my many manuals and literature. I am not in the library business, nor do I want to spend the bulk of my day at the copy machine just because you’re too lazy to ask your dealer, or look around a bit.
5. Don’t bother me with truly stupid questions, like how to get 50 more horsepower for a buck and a half
6. Now that you know the rules, think carefully and have at it!
SUBJECT: A HATE LIST YOU MIGHT LIKE
Rick,
Our parents usually taught us that “hate” was a pretty strong word to use, but there are times where the word “hate” applies. Here’s a few examples:
The “Don’t You Hate” list:
Don’t you hate those miserable pukes who permanently secure the caps to J.B. Weld to the tubes by replacing said caps to the wrong tubes? I mean, who removes both caps at the same time?! Black cap to black tube. White cap to white tube. Are they colorblind or just incredible nincompoops?!
Along the same line, how does silicone sealer harden in the tube no matter how much care is taken when replacing the cap after the initial use? I mean, I’ll bleed all air from the tube end and cap but sure as heck, next time I need it, the tube is harder than diamonds!
Don’t you hate taking an entire weekend of riding time to patch a single hole in your dirt bike’s rear tube? Why an entire weekend? Why always the rear tube? Because by the time you’ve repaired it to no longer leak, you’ve got 28 patches on the tube! (note to self: buy some soft tire irons)
Don’t you hate waking up to some kid’s silencer-lacking 125 Yamazonka at 6:30 in the morning while camping/riding? By the time you’re up and have a tire iron in hand, he’s always zipping off over the horizon.
While camping, I personally hate stepping on an upturned beer bottle cap with a bare foot at 6:30 in the morning…
I’ve always hated taking someone along on these camping/riding trips who don’t know proper camp etiquette. You know, the morons who piss in the campfire or toss their empty cans in the fire, creating toxic gasses? Those who drunkenly try to flip the cooking meat into the fire while you’re away taking a proper leak? They who never seem to BYOB.?
Don’t you hate a hard or non-starting dirt bike? It always occurs when a crowd of friends are watching, right?
Don’t you hate forgetting a tow rope when you’re miles away from camp with your riding friend’s “vintage” 1970 Kawasaki Road Runner?
I hate having to start my friend’s “vintage” Road Runner for him prior to said “ride.”
Don’t you hate drivers who have no idea what a “directional indicator” is used for? In my experience, there seems to be a law exclusive to Southern California freeways making turn signal use illegal.
Why hasn’t anybody invented hand tools that don’t glow white with heat after sitting in the sun for 2 minutes? Why?
I personally take a dislike to television commercials selling drugs with a myriad of “side effects.” My “favorite” is the side effect of “diarrhea” for laxative commercials. I mean, isn’t that the point? There’s been times I would have traded my kingdom for a chronic case of diarrhea while trapped in my bathroom!
Don’t you hate that “neighbor” who can’t start his truck engine each early weekday morning without revving it to the moon? I have one…
Don’t you hate neighbors with dogs that bark for hours on end less than a minute after the resident leaves for work at 6:30 in the morning? I timed one at 6.5 hours, non-stop.
Has anyone, as a child, eaten a silver foil wrapped bullion cube, thinking it was chocolate? I did 55 years ago and, to this day, vanilla ice cream has a hint of beef gravy taste to it. I hate when that happens.
I hate mistaking the wife’s hair spray for underarm deodorant. Can’t lift my arms for hours!
Don’t you hate oncoming drivers at night who don’t lower their high beams until they’re practically beside you?
I hate hearing a new piston pin clip zinging across the shop after you’ve already tossed both old ones in the dumpster.
Don’t you hate breaking that new piston ring trying to install it, then realize it’s 5:02 Saturday afternoon and the bike shop doesn’t open until Tuesday morning at 9:00?
How many of you forgot to look and see if the new piston’s little arrow is pointing in the right direction after you’ve first fired up the engine?
Who hates left-sided kick starters? I do! When confronted with them, I’ll straddle the saddle backwards.
Who thought up the left-sided kick starter anyway?
I hate sport bike-riding squids who dress up like Power Rangers and ride like it’s stolen (when it usually is).
I hate people who, with a mouthful of food, take a drink of milk. Gross… I am guilty, but I always drink beer so it’s okay.
Speaking of mouths of food, do restaurant waitresses lurk nearby and wait until you have a mouthful of food to spring forward and ask: “How’s your meal? Need anything else? Ready for dessert?”
One male, frequent, annoying and overweight waiter hated when I responded: “That goes without saying!” after he told me: “I love dessert!” Never bothered me after that. “Suggestive selling” failure to the max! Poor bastard…
I hate that you can’t buy a new 100cc race ready dirt bike for under $500 anymore.(1970 Hodaka Super Rat; $495)
I hate that, for the cost to do a top end job on a “modern” four stoke dirt bike, I could have bought six of those Super Rats! At least these “modern” four strokes have no left-sided kick starters; just a little button on the bars.
I hate phoning in a shaft seal part number only to hear: “I’ll need the make, model, serial number and date of manufacture.” Damn, punch in the numbers in your computer and find out, you blithering idiots! They’ll insist that they need the manufacturers information when, personally, I know they don’t! I’ll cave and provide that information only to drive 60 miles round trip and have my new seal fall into it’s respective hole without assist.
Don’t you hate being permanently 86’d from that store for giving them a piece of your “constructive criticism”?
You know what I really hate? What really chaps my ass? Whiners who go on and on about things that they hate!
I should have known…
Easy,
David “TT500” Fruhling
Dave, you have too much time on your hands, but keep those emails coming.–Rick Sieman
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SUBJECT: TRUE LOVE!
There has been only one love in my life… and unfortunately, she belonged to Rick Sieman — aka Super Hunky… Long Live the GYDBT! ♥ 🙂
Dave Hedwell
Amazingly enough, the Great Yellow Dirt Bike Truck had a big following and drew a lot of mail. Pretty astonishing for a beat up old El Camino.–Rick Sieman
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SUBJECT: DO YOU LEAN YOUR HEAD WHEN YOU TURN?
Rick, in your infernal and intimidated wisdom, riddle me this: “Why do people lean their heads while making turns…in cars?!”
Easy,
David “You know who!” Fruhling
Probably for the same reason that passengers on street bikes lean the wrong way when the driver is making a turn.–Rick Sieman
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SUBJECT: WHAT WAS THE 501 MAICO REALLY LIKE?
Hey Rick,
You rode one of the hottest 501s back in the day. What was it like, and what was the 760 like to ride. I posted a pic of the 760 on the Maico Pro Racing page, and it got me thinking…how was it?
Robert Cure
A bit of history is in order. When the first 501 Maicos hit these shores, they were equipped with three-speed trannies, because they had so much horsepower.
Huh?
That’s right. They had so much grunt, snap and power, that for motocross, a three-speed was all that was needed. Wait a minute! They had a measly 37 horsepower or so, right?
Wrong!
The first 501s delivered a whopping 52 horsepower on a Schenck eddy-current dyno. I know this for a fact, as we tested a pair of them. The first pulled 52.75 horsepower and the second registered 51.90.
So how did they manage to lose almost 20 horsepower on the way to the show¬room floor? Simple. The 501 was delivered with the “small” clutch, which had a horrific pull. It took one very strong left hand to squeeze the lever in.
In order to make the 501 more palatable to the “average” rider, the distributor, Frank Cooper (the Maico distributor), demanded that Maico deliver the 501 with the easier-to-pull “big” clutch. While this worked much better, it also slipped badly under full power. In order to let the “big” clutch live, it was necessary to reduce the horsepower drastically. The compression was dropped, porting altered, timing changed and the pipe lengthened. The result was a more mellow 501 that still had bags of grunt at low-end and midrange, but was certainly tame compared to the original design.
When I heard about the 501, I had to have one! After parting with about $1100, I picked up a brand-new, bright yellow 501 at Cooper Motors. After a brief break-in ride, I hammered the throttle hard and was rewarded with ho-hum power. The average 400 Maico would pull it through the gears and was much snappier on the hit. After moaning long and loud about the disappointing performance, Brian Fabre (the manager at Cooper Motors) told me to bring the 501 over and we would correct the problem. It was there that I found out about the reason for the forgettable power.
However, fixing the problem was simple. First, we removed the wimpy big clutch and installed the stout small clutch, using the three-row chain for maximum strength. Then the barrel came off and we raised and widened the exhaust port to the original specs. The intake port got a pair of L-shaped slots ground in, and matching holes were drilled in the piston.
While we were fiddling with the piston, Fabre cut 1.5mm off the intake side of the piston skirt. We also cut a few millimeters out of the head pipe and shortened the stinger a full inch. The engine was then bolted to an accurate water-brake dyno and registered a whopping 52 horsepower on the first pass! We had to back the ignition timing off to 1.25mm before Top Dead Center to cool the big engine down.
Happy as a clam (assuming, of course, that clams are happy), I rode the bike and was delighted! Naturally, the clutch was almost impossible to use, but there was so much torque that I ignored it except for starting. Gearing was setup for desert with the largest countershaft sprocket available to put on the front and a tiny one was bolted to the rear wheel.
We checked the speed of the bike by running it alongside a car on an empty desert road, and as close as we could figure, it ran about 105 miles per hour! Not too shabby.
The bike was raced for a few months, and I actually won a bunch of trophies with it. It was almost like cheating! The 501 tracked straight as a rifle shot, pulled like a freight train and had suspension superior to every other bike on the track.
Then one day the Maico team came into town and Brian Fabre gave me another phone call: “Bring your bike over to the shop we’ll get some real horsepower out of it!”
I showed up that night and met the legendary Adolph Weil and the rest of the Maico team. They were busy setting up their bikes for the upcoming Trans-AMA Series. Since I was nice enough to make a bunch of beer and fried-chicken runs, Adolph and his mechanic decided to share some horsepower secrets.
They yanked the barrel off the 501 and Adolph scribed some marks on the barrel to show the correct “maximum” porting. Meanwhile, his mechanic took 0.125 off the head, jacking the compression ratio sky-high. A 40mm carb was installed, jetted in the ballpark, then the engine was bolted firmly to the dyno.
The first run yielded a monstrous gain, showing almost 58 horsepower at the countershaft sprocket! After correcting the jetting, we reached 61 horsepower. A few more cuts on the exhaust pipe had the engine peaking at 63 magnificent ponies!
I was afraid that the engine would turn into a hard-to-ride monster after this, but it was flexible, with a smooth power delivery and, best of all, it started up easier than a 125! I could actually start the bike with my hand once the engine was warmed up. The only trade-off was that it inhaled gas! With a four-gallon PMC tank, it could get a bit over 50 miles under hard racing conditions.
Racing the bike was a pure joy! We re¬checked the top speed and registered about 112 miles per hour—and it would still chug through rocky canyons in low gear without slipping the clutch. The speed was so awesome that I was actually able to notch about a dozen overall wins at the Sand Sailors desert races held at the Ponderosa in the Mojave Desert.
Bear in mind, not much skill was involved. The course was a mixture of deep, sandy whoops, with a wide-open dry lakebed and fast fire roads tossed in. If ever a course was made for a particular bike, it was that one. All you had to do was hang on, try to keep your forearms from pumping up and gas it as hard as you dared.
You might think that would be just about all one could extract from a 501. Not so! C.H. Wheat gave me a call and asked me to check out his 501 Maico. The bike was set up for TT racing and was equipped with disc brakes front and rear.
When I rode his 501, I realized that mine was not even close to putting out the horsepower his was! Closer inspection showed that he was running twin Mikuni carbs and a “Y” intake manifold. The first carb was small, about 28mm or 30mm, and the second was a whopping 44mm item. He had the carbs set up so that the smaller carb worked at lower revs, and then the big breather would kick in around 5000 rpm.
The power delivery was astonishing! It pulled cleanly and smoothly from idle, ripped into life at midrange and then literally shrieked through the higher revs like a road racer.
The horsepower? C.H. wasn`t sure, as he had not put the bike on a dyno. A guess-timate from my seat on the bike would place it at least 20% stronger than my personal 501. When we ran my bike and C.H.’s bike through the gears, side by side, it was no contest. He pulled me by at least six bike lengths and had perhaps 10 miles per hour more on the top-end.
His bike was raced at Ascot later and won the main event by a comfortable margin, with Danny Hockie at the controls. After a year or so of being raced on the District 37 TT/Scrambles circuit, C.H. retired the machine.
I have no idea where the bike is today.
As far as the 760 Maico is concerned, that’s another whole story which will get into next month. So stay tuned for that.–Rick Sieman
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SHAMELESS PLUG
(PHOTO LAST RIDE BOOK HERE)
My new book, THE LAST RIDE, is at now out. It’s fiction and starts in 1969, when an 18-year-old kid just out of high school gets a chance to ride his Yamaha 250 DT1 from Pennsylvania to Los Angeles … all off-road. His adventures are truly amazing. The book then jumps 40+ years where the same person, now in his 60s, wants to get that old Yamaha back in his possession and return it home by riding it all off-road across the country again. The book is $15 plus $2.75 for mail anywhere in the US.–Rick Sieman
email: superhunky@gmail.com
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Website: www.superhunky@gmail.com
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